This blog is a continuation of a series of blogs where I am investigating a reaction I had come up recently while working on an art piece, I have decided to open this point up through looking at it within 3 different dimensions – The Conscious/Personal, The Subconscious/Interpersonal, and the Unconscious/Universal. For a cool and interesting overview of these 3 dimensions please see this blog – http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/08/day-474-blogging-three-in-one.html
Ok so in my last blog I was looking at the Conscious/Personal which I am going to continue with today also in this blog.
So what I am investigating is why I would have such an extensive reaction to making a ‘mistake’ on my art piece.
So today I actually went to work on the piece again and started having more reactions come up about half way through the day. I have been working on this piece now for 10 days and in my mind it’s like I start to see those days as a waste because nothing miraculous came for those 10 days and essentially that is what I see I am attempting to do. I am attempting to create something miraculous – something AMAZING. And when I do not…REACTION! Though what I see here is that within this pursuit of attempting to ‘create something miraculous’ I have in a way missed the point of me! I mean, my art piece is not actually anything separate from me. In the end I am always equal to what ever I create within my world, as my world being a direct reflection of who I am existing as and so whether I have an art piece as a symbol of me in the world or not, does not change the actual Substance of the point. That Substance being Me and who I am and who I am existing in in every moment of breath. I mean the striving to actually ‘create something miraculous’ I see is a form of separation because I will always just create me, and yet with my art its like I have this mentality of wanting to make something ‘more than’ like striving to go beyond myself so to speak. But again, the real Substance here, the Real Point, is Who I am existing as in every breath. That should be the focus. Not simply just trying to define ‘achievement’ within a single event kind of thing but rather to focus on assisting and supporting myself to Live Effectively in every Breath, and then if I am satisfied with me in each breath than it would really not matter if I made something ‘miraculous’ or not because I mean no matter what I define it as, it is always just me anyways. I cannot make something that is not me, that is ‘more than’ me, which seems to be my current approach.
So what I am doing now with my art is like externalizing myself in a way into a something ‘amazing’ so that other people can see my amazingness. So that I can sleep at night because I have done something worthy. So I see this point with my art of pursuing that point of wanting to create or do something that is Amazing, that is ‘better than’ that is ‘out of the norm’ that is ‘Superior’ that is ‘more than’.
Ok so this personal point here I see is about Satisfaction where I am attempting to try and create my Self Satisfaction through my Art and in this not realizing that wait a minute – at the end of the day I have to live with myself, it does not matter what kind of art I create – in the end it is me here in each and every breath and so I see that this is the creation I must more focus on in terms of what and who I am accepting and allowing myself to exist as in each and every breath.
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